I don’t expect to be spoiled by someone, but he spends a lot of money on his (our) house, cars, gambling when he can, but if I need 0 to go to the store, he makes me feel awkward and here we are supposed to be getting married in December.All our finances are separate, I would be fine even with a pre-nup which I know is coming, but I am not fine with having a husband who puts himself that far above me because of his money.I am, however, going to try to look at the other side – something that you may not have done yet.So let’s recap: you love him, he’s a good person, he’s super-wealthy, you have a lot in common, you have a great time together, he’s happy to be with you, and you’re engaged to be married in December. But there’s this one thing – this big thing – you don’t get out of him. Yet he probably pays for the bulk of the house, car payments, medical payments, vacations, etc. The only thing he doesn’t want to pay for is money – together.Likewise, don't be the jerk that goes out to eat with friends and doesn't order anything but then picks off other people's plates.That's a good way to get your hand stabbed with a fork if you're dining with me.
I love him but I have so much anger and resentment towards him.
I hear you, and I’m sure a number of readers do, too. Which gives you two choices: leave him because you feel like you can’t spend your life with a rich man who is cheap, or stick around and appreciate that you have a super life, filled with love, companionship, fun, and tons of material possessions – but your husband is simply a skinflint. I also think you may be equating his lack of generosity with a lack of love. I think two things: he’s genuinely cheap, and he genuinely loves you.
The real sticking point is that his take on “his money vs. He can provide for you in 100 different ways, but because he’s hesitant to give you 0 to go to the store, he doesn’t truly love you. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t be marrying you.
All of this begs the unfortunate and delicate question: is it possible that you take your boyfriend’s money for granted? After all, you may have taken a pay cut, but you probably still live in a big house with a nice car and have everything you need.
So while I’m not going to defend your fiancées behavior – cheap is not cool – I’d have to ask you one really tough question: Would you be marrying him if HE made ,000?