Maybe I’m being old fashioned and just plain unrealistic to think that I should wait for someone who’s actually interested enough to want to chase me, who knows for certain from the out that they want a relationship with me – and who doesn’t need talking into the bloody thing.Or maybe I’m just particularly unlucky when it comes to men.The thing is, you can make any excuse you like when you really fancy, or even love someone.“They’re still getting over their ex,” “they just need more time,” or (ugh) “they’re scared of commitment,” but the fact is when someone meets the right person, they can’t propose marriage, or a joint rental agreement quick enough.A survey carried out last year by dating website ‘Seeking Arrangements’ found that most couples tend to say ‘I love you’ after 14 dates – or seven weeks (the average number of dates per week was two).
However, if anyone refers to me as his girlfriend in front of him, the colour drains from his face.
” explaining how proper dating has been replaced with casual hook ups and ill-defined relationships. And when I say I’ve learnt this the hard way, I mean it.
Online dating, and our ability to be in constant contact with everyone we know via text, email or social media make us unwilling to commit to one person, and more likely to want to hedge our bets. In an article I wrote earlier this year about modern dating, I used the example of a man I’d been sleeping with for over a year, who got cross when I referred to him as my boyfriend.
Maybe that’s a bit dogmatic but everyone’s got to draw a line somewhere.
And if there’s one thing I learnt from my 20s, it’s that I’m not going to waste any of my time on men who won’t even waste a noun on me.